Its hard to sum up in words just how grand, fun, hard, stressful, broken, restored these past few months have been. Its been a journey, a process, where He took all the broken pieces i clung to and put them back together. Everything familiar taken away, so many things i thought I had sacrificed only to realize He wished to put better in my hands. To replace the broken with restored and a newness that I could have never found on my own.
Because words like new, restored, joy, peace, adopted, are all words we put into action all the time. A word or a phrase which could carry so much weight if only it was believed in. The words that are supposed to change me, my heart, my mind, my unbelief, yet never sink in enough to fill the cracks inside of me.
He is faithful, and in the midst of my confusion- I learned a little bit about my Jesus’ heart. That it was for me- regardless of the mess i got myself into. He loved me, and not in a casual “i love you" but He’s my friend, and He loves the way that I am, the words I speak, my creativity, my heart. As scared as I was of Him, I was more scared of myself. What if? What if everything He says about me is true?
 What a sad place to be in- to find it easier to think less of yourself and much, much harder to consider yourself someone.
We were never worthy, but He considered us worthy and paid the ultimate price for our redemption. Because of this we can walk, we can live and we can invite others into this gift. A gift.
To think that He paid the price for our completeness. That it is He, as we go about our journey intricately weaves a pattern restoring us to our original purpose. That He can taken any broken strand, a misplaced step or a season in the valley and call beauty from the very things we hate, or the very things that hurt us the most. This is our God.
He’s fun, and He’s full of joy, and He’s calling me to come away. Not by my standards or expectations. I think they’re big but they’re not big enough for Him. He’s calling for those who will rise in the midst of options and choose Him.He calling for those who will go the process to keep their hearts tender towards Him. He’s calling those whose prayers are fighting for something, for those who look higher to see the authority, the inheritance, the abundance that we can not only believe in, but experience.
Just a few thoughts for this evening.